I knew before I ever started online dating that building an Ok Cupid and Tinder profile would be an exercise in how comfortable I was with my body, and how comfortable I was letting total strangers judge my worth on whether I was attractive or not. I used to believe that if I never acknowledged my weight, people wouldn't notice that I was fat.
But on a platform where appearance is everything, I understood I'd have to be honest with, and about, myself in a way I hadn't been forced to before.
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I used to spend hours manually scrolling through each potential match’s questions until I found out how they answered one question in particular.
If my picture showed me as a brunette but I showed up for the date blonde would that be a “breach of contract?
” Would it be reasonable to say that since I lied about my appearance I obviously can’t be trusted?
Before signing up for Ok Cupid, I had never taken a full body shot of myself, not even the obligatory OOTD mirror selfie.
My selfies were always taken from the shoulders up, and I considered them a form of self-appreciation; they were a celebration of the most attractive parts of me according to me.
Men told them that they were angry, that the date was a waste of gas and time, that they were married, and in one instance the guy went to the bathroom and didn’t come back. The Huffington Post piece points out that a study has shown that women who date online are afraid of meeting a serial killer and men who date online are afraid of meeting someone fat, that definitely seems to be playing out here.