After the fall of My Space, I eventually created my Ok Cupid account.
I really got into the quizzes that members could take. Ok Cupid prides themselves on the ability to match people based on responses to their surveys.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.
I’m not the typical “guy” who posts shirtless pictures of himself on dating sites or sends unsolicited pictures of his genitals to random women.
But I am a guy who is fond of online dating sites, so I have a few tips that might help you when using them.
I’m not saying these women have landed on any one magical app full of dateable men and steady dates.
But with a discerning eye and a sense of humor, they have tamed Tinder and are meeting men who share their desire for a relationship.
To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
He tells me that he doesn’t want to have to lower his standards for online dating. I let him know that it’s a burden for these women – and that lots of great guys get lost in the shuffle. Just like a baseball player fails 7 times out of 10, an online dater is going to get a lot more rejection than acceptance. And “The Rules” talks about waiting a week in between conversations to build up anticipation and establish that you’re busy.” I’m paraphrasing, of course. Ask most women what they’re looking for and you’ll get some version of “a nice guy with a little bit of an edge”. They just don’t want a guy who values himself so little that he has to try so very hard to impress.
The same women he can get in “real life” don’t respond to him online. He reminds me that each letter he writes that goes unanswered is a blow to the ego. Don’t let the process affect you; just be grateful for the potential that it presents. But the gist of it is that all of the experts out there have people believing that the way to forge a happy relationship is by playing games. And everything that you do that is in the least bit calculating is pushing you farther and father from what you claim to want – an authentic relationship where you can be loved and accepted for who you are. They value his ability to be a man, take control, make decisions, speak his mind and march to the beat of his own drum. Because they’ve tried to “nice” their way into women’s hearts and failed, they’re convinced that they have to start being jerks. The confidence that a man projects is the magnetism that draws women. Confidence without kindness describes “bad boys” that smart woman have long ago given up.
So we asked some smart and savvy women to give us their takes on modern dating.
If nerves and fear of the unknown have kept you from ever signing up for a dating app, we hear you.
The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.