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The defendant has just farted.''Summon the Bloke Who Did It - err I mean the accused.''Silence in court. ''Can I stand like this, so the court artist gets to see my best side, please?

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Also, sexual slang is liberally used in this article.

M x These are unlikely things to hear in a courtroom.

Hope they make you smile.'I do not recognise this court -you've had it painted since I was last here.''If I may object to my learned friend's point, err ...coitus interupptus, camera obscura, I mean vitae cunnilingus.''Clear the courtroom!

How do you have one or multiple healthy sexual relationships built on trust? Are you full of frustration, neediness, shame, self hate? Increased loneliness leading to chronic masturbation and porn addiction is replacing real loving connections.

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