I need, nay, the intellectual engagement, and legions of smart, educated men feel similarly.So it pains me to no end to see my smart, educated, lovely female friends remain single, alone and lonely in spite of their best efforts. Surely there is something wrong with the world if they remain single for so long.Then I randomly met a couple people who were in academic fields that did work that vaguely applied to this stuff.Like, this woman Sherry Turkle who had done all this research about texting and found that you say things over text you would never say to someone's face.The comedian revealed his book cover exclusively to TIME and chatted about his research, his stand-up and the end of TIME: A lot of people were surprised when you announced that as a comedian you were writing a book that takes a more academic look at modern romance. Ansari: I had been starting to do this stand-up about dating and realized that the current romantic landscape is way different.All these very modern problems — like, sitting and deciding what to write in a text — that’s a very new conundrum.That ended up helping me write this bit I was working on for my stand-up. You weren’t going out and meeting people from different parts of the country and parts of the world. So the whole redefinition of what marriage is — nobody’s really written this comprehensive book about this kind of thing. Did you find that people treated love the same way outside of the U. We went to Tokyo and France and Buenos Aires to interview people. You just realize everyone is dealing with the same nonsense.
If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?
So the medium of communication we’re using is kind of making us sh—ttier people. Nobody is marrying someone who lived in their building. And marriage, not that long ago, was an economic institution where two families would come together to bring their wealth together.
And then I thought if you take that and put it toward romantic interactions, that’s why people are so f—ing rude. The whole idea of finding a soul mate only became a thing in the past 100 years.
, an academic study of modern romance peppered with his brand of humor, hits shelves June 16.
While every other comedian — from Tina Fey to Amy Poehler — is writing a memoir, Ansari decided he'd team up with a sociologist to conduct studies on love in the age of technology for his first title.
The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission.