One is ready to date again whenever solitude gives way to loneliness.
It is natural to want a partner, but the partner is not a substitute.“One should wait until THEY feel they are ready.
No one else can tell you what you are feeling, so only by being in touch with your own emotions can you know if you’re ready.
Everyone mourns differently, so widows/widowers must be careful not to let other people dictate the speed of their recovery.”“Too many variables to say what is right for anyone the old year thing is probably wise as a minimum. I didn’t quite make the 1 year wait to date thing…and I made a mess, I think I will use 5 years to remarry as a minimum.“This is variable, and having been married to a widower, been widowed and later marrying another widower as well as encountering several men on the widow/widower board, I have noticed that men seem to be ready earlier than women.
People did not relinquish love, and love even enabled some of them to survive the horror and death around them.
Death is perceived to be associated with love in various ways.
”On the one occasion that I attended a couples’ function with friends from our past, I was totally uncomfortable.” Indeed, many people who lose a spouse often feel like when it comes to socializing, it's a couples' world.
Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run it’s course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.
For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.
The lover is perceived to be "the sunshine of my life," and for many, without such sunshine, decay and death are all around.
Even in one of the darkest period of history, the Holocaust, people fell in love despite the risks of expressing it.
"Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life, I'll love you more." The Beatles "I can't live if living is without you." Mariah Carey "A widow's refusal of a lover is seldom so explicit as to exclude hope." Samuel Richardson All of us have romantic predicaments; widows (and widowers) seem to have even more. And if they find another lover, while still loving their late spouse, how can these two lovers reside together in their hearts?